The Curious Incident of the Cat in the Night
by AnonymousAuthor405
Summary: A tale of two kitties, one scared to show himself, one unaware of who he was. Until now.
1. Author's Notes

Author's Notes:

The following story contains characters not owned by me. I didn't create them; I just make them dance for me.

I've created the narrator in a style reminiscent of Deadpool, so there is no 4th wall here. Breaks are indicated with bolded italics.

There will be adult material.

Quite a bit of it.

You have been warned.


	2. First Time

As I looked up into his eyes it took all I had not fall apart then and there. I never thought, though I admit I had rather hoped, that he would be here, with me, straddling my chest, ready to give himself to me. I felt his warmth, heard his heart racing, smelt his ambrosial scent. We both were ready. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. I felt tingles all down my spine as our lips touched. I could feel his virgin hardness pressing against me and I smiled internally. If only he knew what I had in store for him tonight...

 ** _Woah woah woah – I think we may be getting a bit ahead of ourselves hmm? And come on, can I be any more cliché? Don't worry fellow pervs, we'll be getting back to this eventually and you'll get to read all about my deflowering him (and in rather gratuitous detail too_** **:)** ** _). But for now, we should probably go back to where all this s**t started._**

 ** _I really need to stop being so goddamned cliché with these narrations. Wait, you're still here? You were supposed to have jumped into the scene already! What do I pay those damn editors for any- oh. That's right… I knew there was something I forgot to do…_**

We both grew up in the junkyard. There were a few of us that were inseparable – me, him, Vicki, and Bombi. We were all about the same age, Bombi and I were older than the other two by a bit, and of them Vicki had him by about a minute or two (Did I mention they were twins?). We would all play together, constantly causing problems for Jenny and Jezebel and my brother Munk.

As we grew up, he and I were as close as we could be. We told each other everything – I even told him before anyone else the first time I felt something for Bombi. In hindsight I know why I never heard anything about females out of him, but at the time I figured he was just really shy.

When it came time for my first Ball, he and Vicki weren't quite ready, so I just went with Bombi, much to the chagrin of all the other queens. Needless to say I've always been quite the lady's man. Anyway we left them behind with the Jezebel and the other kits and made our way to the Ball. As we watched we were swept away in the song and dance – a wondrous blur of soaring sound and whirling color.

As the mating dance began all the queens (without much subtlety I might add) may their way towards me, but I already had my eyes on the night's prize. I'd been waiting for this moment for a long time. Bombi and I danced together and when all the others were settling down to sleep in each other's arms we stole away from the rest.

 ** _Hey pervs! You were hoping for some good stuff, and I just had to deliver! No, it's not him just yet, and I'm gonna be honest – this one won't be pretty. Two virgins goin' at it while everyone else is sleeping? We all know that ain't gonna end well._**

We found a secluded clearing and I pulled her in close. We hadn't so much as kissed before, but what the hell. I just sorta guessed my way through. I pulled her in close and kissed her, running my hands down her sides before grabbing her rear and pulling her down on top of me. She responded well to this kind of treatment and began kissing me even more violently. I slid my hand between us and tried to find her special place. The spell was broken momentarily with a violent "Ow!" from her when my claw poked somewhere it shouldn't have. **_Don't worry it gets better._** She took my hand and guided it to its target before we resumed. I could smell that she was ready, and given the sudden growth I'd experienced I was too. I brought my hands up to her sides and roughly rolled over on top of her. I could see in her eyes she was loving it. The spell was again broken as I failed miserably to find the proper entrance. **_Told you._** Again she guided me in and we finished beneath the pale light of the Jellicle Moon.

 ** _Well that's it for the first installment of what I so far haven't bothered to title. Yes I know there's a title up there, but I don't know what it is right now do I? Anyway tune in again to find out what happens when next. You pervs will probably be disappointed since I don't foresee - or would it be remember in this case since I already know what's coming (hehe ;) )? Well maybe you'll hear about me and Bombi a bit more since I did improve considerably after this one…_**

 ** _Heh. I remember this one time we tried this one thing and we both ended up falling and I ended up getting my – what is it with you and not leaving when you're supposed to? Can't a guy fantasize about his ex in private dammit?_**


	3. The Morning After

**_Alrighty then. If I'm not wrong (which I never am) we left off after my rather pathetic performance with Bombi. So we'll pick up from when everyone awoke._**

We returned to the others just as my father was choosing who would be allowed to enter the Heavyside Lair. Yes, Old Deuteronomy is my father, everyone knows that. I don't recall who he chose to enter the lair that year - **_can you blame me though? I'd just gotten my first slice of Bombi's pie minutes before_** – but I have some recollection of it being someone's father. Anyway as everyone went off with their mates Bombi and I were once again left to our devices for a while, so guess what we did?

When I emerged from my den I was pounced on by queens and kits alike. They all wanted to know if I'd chosen my first mate and who it was. After a moment they all knew that Bombi and I had mated (I hadn't bothered to do much grooming so her scent was lingering) and started asking all about it. I dodged most of the questions so I could hide my short comings - **_NO NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVS -_** from the night before. Bombi and I had agreed for both our sakes that when questioned by grown toms and queens we'd lie and say we were both fantastically gifted. Eventually Bombi joined me outside, giving me a pat on the rear and a peck on the cheek. All of my fans gushed at this.

Nobody ever truly understood why I always had so many fans. It wasn't like they knew I was a good lay, so I guess they all just assumed from my flirting and the way I sang and danced. I should also point out that although I only really mention queens, there were a couple toms in the club as well. Most of the toms were there for the dirty details, but one or two – **_that's right Alonzo, you weren't fooling anyone_** – were there for other reasons as well, so I never left them out of the fun.

The only one I never saw there was him. Vicki was usually part of the group, but he wasn't. It never really bothered me anyway. I didn't think of him the same as I did them. He was the only one I ever really talked to. The rest of them I just sort of entertained. Don't get me wrong, I loved the attention, still do, but when I was with him I could let it all go. It wasn't like I became a totally new person when I was with him, more that I could let out all the other stuff that didn't fit with the persona I'd become associated with.

When I could finally break free from Bombi and the crowd – they were still questioning her when I left – I sought out my friend. I found him in his favorite little clearing, levitating an old can. **_If you haven't figured out who the hell HE is by now you probably shouldn't be reading this. You could try looking us up though. I heard Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote quite the show based on our lives. Of course the Ball he wrote about is going to be in here. Chapter 4. Damn good composer that guy is. Really liked that one about the human in the basement hitting on that sexy singer. Anyway back to where we were._**

"Hey Quax," I said, startling him into sending the can soaring past my head. "Woah there buddy. Probably want to work on your aim."

"Oh hey Tugger. Sorry about that. How was the ball? And why do you smell like Bombalurina? Wait… you didn't! Did you?" his expression had gone from sheepish to shocked as he spoke.

"The ball was everything they promised – you'll be amazed next year. And yes. We did," his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head when I confirmed it. If he felt anything other than shock at the time I didn't notice it, though I was probably too busy reliving the night in my mind.

"So… where does that leave us?"

"What do you mean Quax?"

"Well now that you and Bombi are mates…"

"Slow down there kit. We haven't event talked about it. Between us, we even agreed to lie about how things went last night. I mean we figured it out but there were a few mistakes made, so we figured we'd just lie and claim we were both naturally talented to protect our reputations."

He chuckled at this response, obviously amused by my performance (or lack thereof). "Well as long as your reputation is intact that's all that matters."

 ** _That's all for now folks. Tune in next time for more Misto and a bit of Bombi. Ciao._**


	4. Magical

**_You're not sick of me yet? Or maybe are you hoping this is the chapter where SPOILER ALERT me and Misty get all freaky-deaky. Well it isn't so skip right on ahead if that's what you're looking for._**

The next few weeks are a bit of a blur. All I remember is spending quite a bit of time in my den with Bombi – **_yeah you know what we were doing._** I must say we both did improve considerably in that time. She learned from some of the older queens that you could use your mouth while mating and it certainly did make things much more interesting. Frankly I'm surprised we managed to not make kittens of our own with the sheer amount of mating we did.

Eventually the novelty wore off and we stopped going at it every chance we could. My fan club was certainly happy to have more time with me and it was nice to have some time away from her. Don't get me wrong I still was feeling it, but at the same time I felt like all we had anymore was mating. We didn't really talk all that much, and when we did it was mostly about something one of us had heard might be fun to try.

I found myself with quite a burning desire to go see Quaxo – **_yes I am well aware that I called him Misty earlier. At this point in time he was still only Quaxo. He won't become Mr. Mistoffelees until further down._** I found him in the same clearing that I'd seen him in the night after the Ball. Once again I found him practicing his magic, this time he wasn't just levitating the can; he was moving it all around. I stretched myself out on a rather comfy fender, and watched for a few minutes.

"My, my. You've certainly improved." Quaxo once again leapt up in surprise and again sent the can careening at me, thankfully his aim hadn't improved.

"Dammit Tugger! Stop startling me like that." He seemed awfully embarrassed and even went a bit red. "Next time I'll actually aim for your head."

"Oh deary me! Not only is the little kitten using foul language but he's threatening me too!" I said, grinning ear to ear.

"Save it Tugger. You know well as I do I'm no kit anymore."

"Do I? I feel like I haven't seen you in days," I slid down off the fender as I spoke and walked over to him.

"That's because you _haven't_ seen me in days."

"Look Quax I'm sorry I-"

"Save it Tug. I know where you've been. Whole junkyard can hear the two of you most of the time."

It was my turn to flush this time. "Well then… So you seem to be doing quite well with the magic. When are you going to let everyone else in on it?"

"When I'm ready I'll tell the others."

"And when will that be? You've been saying that forever."

"I don't know. I just… I just want to have more control over it. You saw what just happened. One little distraction and look what happened," he said defeatedly.

"Well maybe it's a good thing your aim hasn't improved then," I said with a grin, which earned me a rather quick smack from Quaxo. "Ow! I'm joking, I'm joking!" As he smirked back at me is saw a twinkle in his eye I'd never seen before. "So have you thought about what you're going to call yourself? Every great performer has to have a stage name."

"Guess that explains why you haven't taken one," he said cheekily while quickly ducking to avoid my hand.

"I have! I'm no longer just Rum Tug Tugger, I'm _THE_ Rum Tum Tugger."

"How very original," he replied. "I was thinking I'd call myself Mr. Mistoffelees."

"Where'd that come from Quax?"

"It just sorta came to me."

"I kinda like it. Have to find you a new nickname though…"

"It's not like I'm not going to be Quaxo anymore. Mistoffelees is just a part of me."

"Maybe I could call you Misto… or maybe Misty…" He gave me a rather disapproving look. "It's only fair – I'm the first to see this hidden side of you." In hindsight his reaction makes far more sense, but at the time I felt it a little odd that he'd turn away me at this point. "Something wrong Misty?"

"No. And don't call me that," he said, back still turned.

I pulled him around to face me. "Somehow I don't believe you. Talk to me."

"No, really Tugger, I'm fine. It's just that I'm nervous about letting people see this." As he replied he flopped down to the ground, and I could see the distress in his eyes. "No one else here is like this and I don't know how they're going to react to this."

"Listen. If anyone has a problem with who you are you tell them to come see me," I said, dropping down next to him. "You know I've always got your back."

"Thanks Tug."

"Seriously though the _entire_ junkyard?"

"Yes Tugger," he said exasperatedly, "the _entire_ junkyard."

 ** _See? Told ya we'd get to the whole Quaxo/Mitso thing. Don't get your hopes up you pervs but next time we're gonna talk about where the whole Misto/Tugger thing really started. We should get one of those fandom names! Tugoffelees or Mistugger or something like that._**


	5. Secrets

**_Right so now we're at the part where things start getting interesting so I'll shut up and let you see…_**

The remainder of the year went by uneventfully for the most part. Sure there was the occasional threat of a visit by Macavity and a few spats with Bombi, but things were going pretty smoothly until the topic of the Ball came up. Misty and I were alone in the clearing, he was practicing his magic, and I was laying on the fender. I couldn't help but notice the way he moved his body as he did his magic. His performance was flowing and elegant, and the magic was astonishing.

"You keep staring at me like that and I'm gonna start thinking you want to mate with me Tugger."

"What? Um, well, uh…" I simply couldn't get the words out. We often teased each other but something was different about it this time.

"Aww… poor little Tugger's tongue tied."

"I am not!" I finally managed to splutter.

"Relax Tug. I'm just having a little fun," he said flirtatiously.

"Whatever Misty."

"Dammit I told you not to call me that! Especially not before everyone knows."

"Come on, I think it suits you, Misty." I picked myself up and leapt down into the clearing. "Besides, the Ball will be the perfect time to show off. Can't imagine the Jellicle Moon will hurt your abilities either."

"I was just going to dance a bit. I don't think I'm ready for-"

"Nonsense. What I just saw was absolutely fantastic. The only thing I'm not sure you're ready for is the mating dance."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said defensively.

"Oh nothing… Just that I've never seen you with any of the queens, and you've never mentioned one." I put my arms around him and pulled him in saying, "Could it be our dear little Misty likes toms?" He pushed me away hard enough to knock me to the ground (though from his expression I could tell he hadn't meant to). "Easy there Misty. It's ok if you do. Everlasting knows everyone's aware that Alonzo does, no matter how hard he tries to hide it." From the look in his eyes I could tell that I was right. I could see it there, wanting to burst out. When I began I had only meant get a little revenge for earlier, I had no idea the effect my words would have on him.

"Fine. But you can't tell ANYONE ok?" He slumped down to his knees, and began tearing up. I crawled over and pulled him close.

"Don't cry. Like I said it's fine. You are who you are. You can't control who you love. It just happens." He pressed his face into my chest, and I could feel him trembling in my arms.

"Why can't I just be normal like everyone else? First there's the magic, now this," he sobbed.

"I can't explain the work of the Everlasting. All I know is that if he did have a hand in making us who we are, every part of us is the way it is for a reason."

"Where did you get all that?"

"No idea. Guess I did get something from my father, since I certainly didn't get these dashing good looks from him." He couldn't help but crack a smile at my remark. "Now look, it's not my place to tell you what to do with your love life, so I won't say anything more on the subject unless you ask for it, but if I have to drag you out kicking and screaming, I will make sure that you show off your gift this year."

"Can we talk about this later Tug? I'd just like to sit here for a few more minutes..."

"We can stay here as long as you want Misty."

"I told you to stop calling me that."

We spent the rest of the afternoon there, though we didn't speak much. I could tell he was hurting, and I just wanted to hold him and tell him he was going to be ok. To this day I don't know what came over me that afternoon. Misty and I had always been close and comfortable with each other, but I'd never felt compelled to simply hold someone the way I did, not even Bombalurina. Actually I take that back. I do know what came over me that afternoon. I just didn't know what it was at the time.

The night of the ball came 'round and the junkyard was full of energy. Everyone was excited from the kits to the eldest of queens. In the moments before the Ball was to begin I pulled Misty aside.

"Nervous, Mr. Mistoffelees?"

"We went over this Tugger! I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Yeah and you never will be. Of all the nights of the year, this is the one. Everyone expects wondrous things tonight, let yourself be one of them."

"But what about the mating dance hmm? What am I supposed to do about that?"

"Well can't help you with that one. Or can I?" I stepped in closer and looked down into his eyes.

"Stop it Tugger. You know how I feel about all of this."

"Just relax. It's your first Ball and it's not like anyone expects you to mate. You haven't been seen with anyone so if you just want to hide or something no one will take notice."

 ** _Now those of you who have seen Andy's version of what happened will know that he stuck around and ended up just knocking out alone. You'll also know that right in the middle of my performance he took me down a notch and called me "a terrible bore." But what you don't know is that while everyone else was sleeping I was hatching a plan to show everyone Misty's magic. You'll probably also want to know that Andy took some liberties with the way he conjured up my father._**

"Pst! Dad!" I whispered, gently stirring my father from his sleep.

"What is it Tugger?" He asked groggily.

"It's about Quaxo." My father chuckled at this.

"What, did he hurt your feelings?"

"No! It's just – look he has powers alright? He doesn't want people to think he's strange, but I really want him to feel comfortable with it."

"I get the feeling you're not here for my advice."

"We all know Macavity tries to crash the Ball every year. After he gets chased off, would you mind hiding in that pipe at the back of the clearing?"

"Why would I do that?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, if I can trick everyone into thinking Quaxo brought you back with his magic, everyone will love him for it. I don't know how they'd react otherwise."

"I can't say I like this plan, nor do I think it wise to let Quaxo deceive everyone like this."

"I wasn't planning on telling him. Only we would know. He's got enough to burden him already, I just don't want him having to carry this weight too."

"Your intentions are pure, so I'll go along with this."

Everything went off without a hitch, and just like that Mr. Mistoffelees was born. Our revelry was rather short lived because of Grizabella's return, but none of us could feel anything but pity for her, and we were all happy that she was finally able to reach the Heavyside Lair.

 ** _Well that seems like a nice enough place to stop for now. When we come back, we'll have the following morning, and my chat with Misty._**


	6. Pinned

"What'd I tell you Misty? Everybody loves you. You're a bona fide hero." We were once again in our little clearing, but this time we were both dangling our legs over the side of the fender.

"Can I tell you something Tugger? I don't think it was my magic that brought your father back last night."

"What are you talking about? Of course it was! How else would he have gotten back?"

"I don't know. All I know is you sprung the whole thing on me, I made a few sparks and suddenly your father appears out of what we all thought was an empty pipe, and I'm suddenly a hero."

"Is that a bad thing though?"

"It just doesn't feel honest. I genuinely don't know how it happened. It could've been pure coincidence."

"What are you saying? That my father just happened to hide himself in that pipe and waited for me to convince everyone you might be able to help before finally popping out?"

"I guess that is kinda ridiculous."

"Kinda? Come on. You did it. Savor it." I put my arm around him and pulled him close. He rested his head on me and we just sat there for a few moments of silence.

"Tugger, how do you know if you're in love?" His question caught me a bit off guard. It seemed odd that he'd be asking me this particular question.

"I'm not quite sure. I guess I could just say what all the elders say, but I get the feeling it won't do any good."

"Well how does it feel when you're with Bombalurina?"

"These days? Not so great. She's become one of, if not _the_ , most beautiful queens around but I hardly feel like we even know each other."

"What do you mean?" He seemed rather taken aback at my response. "I thought you guys were mates?"

"There's a big difference between mating and being mates. Anyone can mate with anyone. But when you become a mate with someone, you give yourself to them. When you agree to be someone's mate you're telling them that they're the one you want to see each night as you fall asleep and the one you see each morning when you wake. You're saying that you'd journey to the ends of the earth for them. You're saying that if you had just minutes left to live you'd want to spend those moments with them. You're saying that no matter what comes in this life, you'll be there for them." By the time I finished this speech I found myself almost out of breath. "Sorry. I didn't mean to talk your ears off."

"That was actually really romantic Tug," he said, nuzzling my shoulder. "It's kinda nice to see this side of you once in a while. But I do have to ask, why are you two still together if you have no intention of becoming mates?"

"I could lie to you and tell you we're hoping we can get through some things, but honestly? She's hot and I'm really good at mating so it's kind of a win/win for now."

Mistoffelees sighed and rolled his eyes. "Aaaaaaand he's back. Ladies and gentleman, the one and only Rum Tug Tugger."

I couldn't help but grin at the comment before I nuzzled his head with mine and said "you wouldn't love me any other way."

"Wait what? I never - "He pulled away quickly and spluttered to get the words out quickly enough.

"Relax; I was just teasing you Misty."

"Well don't tease like that, and what did I tell you about calling me Misty?"

"What are you gonna do about it?" I pushed him lightly as I asked.

"How about this?" He pushed me down into the clearing and starting zapping the ground around me with his magic. "Oh Tugger! Dance for us Tugger!" He said, mimicking my fans as he carried on.

"Not funny Misty! OW!" One of his zaps nipped my backside, causing me to leap up before falling to the ground. He grinned down at me mischievously and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous I must have looked. "Least you could do is give me a hand up after that." He came down into the clearing and took my outstretched hand. "Can't believe you fell for that one!" I cried out, pulling him down next to me. Despite the size difference he put up a good fight before I managed to pin him. "Don't you know I always end up on top Misty?"

"Come on Tugger, get off me," he said, still trying to break free.

"Not until you admit I'm the greatest and apologize for zapping me."

"Fine. You're the greatest and I'm heartily sorry for having zapped you."

"Say it like you mean it."

"I'm sorry Tugger. You're the greatest."

"Aww… Misty stop, you're making me blush!"

"You planning to get off me any time soon?"

"Nope."


End file.
